Four years that changed everything
& feel free to join my next free Sparks session this Sunday
Hello kind folks on the other site of the screen,
what is your human experience like lately?
Inspired by my friend Sophy Dale I have been meaning to put more into writing over here, more of myself and more of what feels true. I’ve hit a bunch of anniversaries lately: three years since my accident, two years since my friend Frances died and almost four years since we first entered pandemic times.
I’m not being dramatic when I say that the last four years have completely unravelled me. I am, for better or for worse, unrecognisable to my past self - both crushed and softened, exhausted and wildly hopeful. It feels far out there to imagine what the next four years will be like for all of us. Sometimes I am scared, but sometimes I revel in the idea that all bets are truly off the table and that there is freedom & beauty in that. So often in the last four years I have been awed by the resilience and courage of the people I love and am in community with.
Holding steady in a sea of unpredictable change feels like a key skill to hone as we look into the future. I wish I could tell you about about fancy habits I have cultivated, but some of them are really rather odd: I have gotten to level 1500 in Candy Crush for example and I have been making myself two small pancakes almost every morning for nearly two years now, well over a thousand little blessings on my nervous system. We create stability where we can.
There are two things I am proud of though - I have left social media and I made space in my life to be a student. These do feel related because, the further away I am from my time on instagram, the clearer I see that being there had blown my sense of what to expect of myself and others out of proportion. As a student I am reminded every day that I am here to explore, listen and learn in conversation. I don’t have to know all the things, I just have to ask good questions and act in integrity.
Right now, many of the people I work with feel unsure about what to say and I think there is a lot of pressure to be a “thought leader” and to always be ahead of the curve when it comes to our collective understanding of things (which is different from and more complicated than simply taking a stand and amplifying marginalised voices). I am hoping to find places where my activism and my creativity are effective without a sense of constant urgency or scarcity. An abundant, pleasurable and sustainable place that feels authentic and generous (on that note, listening to adrienne maree brown’s audio book Pleasure Activism has helped a lot). I recorded a podcast episode exploring this and being social-media free some more, you can listen over here.
Last year I rested so much that I had two truly beautiful dreams that really touched me deeply. The first one was very simple - I had fallen asleep after watching the news in horror and in my dream an ancestor told me that “Everything can be undone, everything can be remade”. And of course I was like “cool, but how?”, but anyway, it did give me hope somehow. In the second one I found myself far out in the universe amongst the stars at the entrance of an infinitely large & ancient library that contained everything that had ever happened. I stepped in and was met by a kind & dorky cosmic archivist and asked him why all of these things had happened. He told me that he didn’t know and that he was just keeping a record. Then he said that I should do the same. So simple, so deep.
I don’t blame you if you find this odd, but pretty much based on this dream I decided to embark on an MLitt in History this year. Why not? I have taken classes in mythology, creative writing, culture & heritage as well as philosophy since 2020 and it kind of feels right. I love being a student, it feels like a way to tap into the world’s stream of consciousness in a way that is less hectic than being social media (and to be fair I am lucky to have access to courses that are much cheaper here than elsewhere).
This week my research proposal was approved and I found an incredible supervisor. I’ll be exploring how people with disabilities used needlework to connect with a sense of place & heritage during lockdown. Stay tuned for an invitation to be part of an oral history project and in the meantime feel free to listen to my recent episode about stitching spells for mental health.
Of course, all of this is feeding beautifully into my Stitching Together project, but I am also hoping to think a lot about the role of the internet and how I can add my magic as a web designer towards a more accessible, inclusive and revolutionary digital space.
Okay, I wont make this too long - thank you so much for reading!
Love,
Yarrow
New episodes
Join us for three live Zoom sessions per month every month to deepen your creative practice with gentle accountability & lots of inspiration in 2024.
I am also sharing my radical needlework history research & a monthly needlework skill or project idea with a focus on mental health, sustainability & wellbeing with everyone.
Think slow stitching, colour play, mending as ritual, stitched amulets - but other crafts are welcome too!
USD 14 base / 8 concession per month, cancel any time.
Our next free Spark sessions is this Sunday the 4th of February from 7-8pm UK time (that’s 11-12 PT or 14-15pm ET & here is a timezone converter).
The format will always be the same:
A warm welcome & a moment of grounding
A chat check in with everyone
Quiet time to work with the Spark session workbook, which includes journaling prompts, reflections & useful tools to help you set yourself up for the month ahead - choose your own adventure
Intention setting & goodbyes
I’ve decided to run my web design studio a little differently this year to allow for better planning and more creative joy. I will be offering six slots for custom web designs in February, April, June, July, October & November - customers who book more than 3 month ahead get a 5% discount and the option for a longer payment plan. If you’re interested, you can book a call below.
I will also be offering eight tech days throughout the year, during which I can help you create better software system, create a marketing or newsletter strategy, make small updates to your website or work on your SEO for example.
Hi! I'm Yarrow,
a web designer, artist & writer living on the East coast of Scotland.
I offer creative classes, host podcasts, create eco-friendly websites and help people build sustainable livelihoods.
Thank you so much for following along and dreaming with me.
Love,
Yarrow
Everything about this speaks to my soul. Finding space to be a student as a mature aged student is full of so so much magic. Something about going into a learning space because you want to be there instead of because it is a next societal step is truly a beautiful and opening experience. Your courses sound INCREDIBLE as well! What a blessing!
Hi Yarrow, I am so glad internet brought you on my path. A whole lot resonates from this letter, like the various anniversaries you mention. I feel like the last 4 years have been massive for most of us and embracing change and cultivating practices to be here now has truly been in the midst of it all. Even if those practices are uplevelling our games. My go-to has been Azul.
P.S. Loving the dreams you're having. I often find our dreams hold truths that we might not see in our waking hours. At least, that's been my experience.